Mr. Quickie’s political masturbation of the quill

Abalinx Social Media

ABALINX 8 August 2018 Peter Adamis

As always on the lookout for un-Australian activities such as fifth columnists, sycophants, yes men, decadent individuals, communists, cake whisperers, cattle rustlers, shifty citizens, jackmen, disloyal Liberal Party members and wild life mammals such as dingos; late last night, I must say that I was taken by surprise. 

 I was completing an article on Australia reaching 25,000,000 when I was alerted by my trusty old laptop that I had received yet another “Quickie” email.  It appears that a certain “Mr Quickie” not happy with his sudden burst of fame has again returned to masturbating with the quill in in an attempt to seduce Liberals to an orgy of political intrigue. A copy of the article may be downloaded by clicking on: MR QUICKIE’S POLITICAL MASTURBATION OF THE QUILL

I began to review and analyse “Mr Quickie’s” email to sift through the innocuous and insidious pile of manure to ascertain exactly what is it that “Mr Quickie” was using to seduce sweet innocent little old blokes like me from the true path of what it meant to be a Liberal.  After a long night, my analysis indicated that I was dealing with a very intelligent moron whose narcissism of self knew no bounds.

The colourful adjectives to describe the chairman of the board could only come out of the mouth of a young child attempting to understand the English language.   Mind you, nouns and pronouns along with the odd slang and attempts at humour certainly added to the ingredients that made his email even more ravenous to the mere mortals such as myself. 

Given my poor command of the English language, I must admit I struggled at times to identify what it was that he was trying to say. Was he delusional, a lunatic, depraved and poor specimen of a human being or was he merely masturbating his quill and being seductively mischievous.  Whatever he was doing, he had caught my attention. Please note that “Mr Quickie’s comments are displayed in italics throughout the article.

“Mr Quickie” begins with typical Cicero rhetoric “Dear fellow Liberal (s), I’ve been getting quite a few phone calls from confused members since the President sent out an extraordinary email a few hours ago. So I’ve run it through a prototype Google-type translate service to see if we can make sense of it.”

Then to my surprise he goes onto say “See below”. Well I did what he asked and looked below to see what exactly he meant!  Yep, my trousers were still on, my belt was around my waist, my zipper on my fly was closed and my polo neck shirt was tucked into my trousers.  I must be missing something I asked myself, not realising he was pulling my inner leg so to speak.

His next comments stated As per usual, if you don’t want emails from me send me an ‘unsubscribe’ as a subject. Ian Quick (Yes, I’ve decided they can’t silence me with threats)”.  I found this unusual because in the first place I never subscribed to his emails and secondly his comments about threats alarmed me. Do I ring 000 and advise the Police that there was a person out in “la la land” being threatened and that he needed help; or do I just advise Daniel Andrews and his thought Police to investigate the matter.

The remainder of his “newsletter” as you will notice is a poor attempt on his part to denigrate Liberal Party members who have distinguished themselves beyond the call of duty, worked hard to maintain the standards expected and remain true to the Liberal party values.  His Star Trek and alien attempts at humour are out of this world and are not a true representation of what is expected of a board member elected to the Administrative Committee of the Victorian Liberal Party. A transcript of his “orgasm” is shown in italics as follows:      

“Google Translate ON:  Klingon Kroger to English -> I was getting tired of being compared with some Chilean dictator (I prefer El Presidente, for life), so I thought I would take on the role of Saddam’s Comical Ali instead (circa 2003). I am taking a lot of flack for killing democracy in the party, so want to make up some excuses and try and redirect to another topic. The decision was planned for a year ago and you should all just get over it.             We knew the redistribution was going to have no effect, and double so for the Coalition agreement. We have often had this happen and had no problem doing member preselections, but didn’t want to this time – so they are the best (even if silly) smoke screen we could find. Its rediculous that I even have to take time to explain this to you fools. Why are you even reading this? You should be out campaigning and handing the party your money. Don’t even think of telling us what you think either. No one can do more than one thing at a time. Don’t worry, you’ll thank me one day.     

Which we easily manage to do every election cycle since Menzies founded this party, but this year we need to save 27 year backbencher Kevin Andrews. Can’t have pesky, competent, decorated war veterans in our parliament. They must be stopped. Like I stopped them at the gates of Baghdad (whoops, wrong email). So we will pretend we can’t do it. All of the federal seats could (and should) have been done last year, but not only would that not have saved Kevin, it wouldn’t have let people we stacked into the party in 2016 vote.    

We had to re endorse everyone, or Kevin would have lost his seat, which we didn’t want to risk. Delaying so close to the State election was the best way of justifying that. “But why can’t we even do them after the state election? Clearly the bi-elections have killed the thought of an early election?” I hear you say. Actually, I don’t hear you. I’m not listening.    If we wanted to win it we would have put a candidate there a year ago, but someone we didn’t like may have one the preselection, which was a much higher priority than getting a candidate on the ground to win the seat. We’re not fools – why whould we put the national and party interests first ahead of our factional interest!     

We have never had problems doing these before, and could have done it last year, but now we want to pretend it is all too hard. Bad luck. Western metro has just been done, and Northern Metro was going to be the day after, but we didn’t like who was going to win so deferred it.        While we knew the seating organised in the Coalition agreement wasn’t go to change, we really didn’t want to do these preselections with members, so we are pretending it matters. And we have ended it up doing it before the coalition agreement anyway, so that excuse is looking a little thin even by our standards. Why are you still reading this? Why aren’t you out campaigning?. 

Just kidding. There would have been one in Menzies. But let’s pretend Kelly and Tim and Julia and all the others were too. Now they owe me (not you the members). Much more streamlined. They are very grateful.   OK, you got me. We have wanted to do this for at least the last year and are glad we finally could. Shh, don’t tell anyone the situation is nothing like 1996 or 2014, but we are going to pretend it is and hope nobody.   notices.   Please look at other things and not what I am doing to the party. A bow in my general direction will be sufficient. Oh shit, I just realised most of you are probably hearing I cancelled party democracy for the first time. Maybe I shouldn’t have sent this email.        Google Translate OFF:”

In conclusion, I am of the belief that any member elected to the office of the Administrative Committee of the Victorian Liberal party adhere to a core set of values laid down generations ago by learned men and women well versed in the art of politics and campaign strategies based on life experiences. To erode such an August institution is tantamount to treason and falls well outside the norm of free speech and good form. If I as a political activist and a member of the Liberal Party voice my opinion or to criticise another, I would ensure that I was not on the Administrative Committee. To do so would be a breach of trust, loss of trust, disloyal to my other members of the committee and lacking faith, which in my view “Mr Quickie and his masturbation of the quill has done.

I therefore encourage other members of the Liberal Party to take whatever political action is deemed necessary to rid themselves of this political termite who is undermining the very fabric of Liberal Party values and ideology we hold so dear. In fact I will go as far as to say that in the unholy event Matthew Guy and Michael Kroger fail due to win government in November, the responsibility for failure should and must fall on individuals such as “Mr Quickie” and others of his ilk, such as the “Looney Left Liberals” who are not team players but purveyors of iniquity and instability.

Peter Adamis is a Journalist/Social Media Commentator and writer. He is a retired Australian military serviceman and an Industry organisational & Occupational (OHS) & Training Consultant whose interests are within the parameters of domestic and international political spectrum.  He is an avid blogger and contributes to domestic and international community news media outlets as well as to local and Ethnic News.  He holds a Bachelor   of Adult Learning & Development (Monash), Grad Dip Occupational Health & Safety, (Monash), and Dip. Training & Assessment, Dip Public Administration, and Dip Frontline Management. Website: Contact via Email: [email protected] or via Mobile: 0481 342 791

Post Script.  In my previous article, my advice to young Ian Quick (alias the Fox) was to button his lip, shut up, work with the Administrative Committee, keep his objections and disagreements within the confines of the meeting room and work as a team.  There is only one member of the Board who is elected leader, not three of four.  My advice to all Administrative members is that if you don’t support the President Michael Kroger then you are not supporting Matthew Guy to win government at the next State Election. It is simple as that.
I have written a number of political article on various subjects and other matters. Since that time I have received a number of abusive telephone calls at home and on my mobile. Furthermore please note that all my calls are monitored due to inappropriate behaviour. I have also received unwarranted and inappropriate threatening emails.  As I take such matters to heart, I would like to point out that I have no malice towards any individual. In fact I admire anyone who stands up or what they believe in.  I am the same and will do what is right in the eyes of our society. If any reader is aggrieved by my comments, then an apology is in order on my part.

I will go even further and apologise to all and sundry if my posts have offended or upset my very dear friends, mates, ex-military, retired cobbers political, military, community and all those I have met throughout life.  But having apologised does not mean that we do not have our political differences and I don’t expect us as individuals to see eye to eye on many things apart from wanting as in my case Liberal Governments in power. My disagreements if any with individual are never personal.

If those who read what I have written, please be assured that it was not my intention and I am sorry if people have taken it the wrong way. I have explained in another post what has occurred to my database and in my own manner of speaking I hoped that it would make matters clearer. If not then I am sorry if readers have taken my posts the wrong way. I welcome as always constructive criticism to mattes which readers may feel need further clarification and I will endeavour to correct it. It may also mean that I may have to add a postscript to any article that I write in order that others understand that what is being written is not personal at all.  Thank you to everyone for their kind support and understanding. Peter Adamis.




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